Rob Lifford

Here’s what I just emailed to Delta Airlines over the recent insanity:

I’ve had my share of less than pleasant experiences with Delta flight attendants, but I’m not prone to blame them for their occasional surliness: they’re working in a difficult industry, for difficult management, and often with difficult customers. The story in the news this week, however, about a Freedom flight attendant and a Delta ticket agent removing a breastfeeding mother from a flight is just too much. The agents and attendants need to be trained to deal NOT with the moms trying to feed their babies in the healthiest and most natural way possible, but rather to deal with the people who have perpetuated the completely ridiculous perception of female breasts as something lurid or sexual.

Just teach your attendants this handy stock phrase and be done with it: “I’m very sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, sir or madam, but it is perfectly normal and healthy behavior. But you’re in luck, through a new partnership program, our frequent flyer miles are now redeemable with many quality psychologists who can help you with your hang-up.”

This post is dedicated to AustinMama.com: thanks, y’all, for letting a dad (this one!) win the Series of Unfortunate Events haiku contest.